Initial Thoughts
Why did
this film get green lighted? that's really the only question that's in my mind
right now. But hey it stars Arnold Schwarzenegger right?! it must be good
right!? well your wrong! for every good film he has done, he has also made
about a dozen bad ones, and what would be a better example of that then in the
epic Christmas failure Jingle All The Way. Horrible acting, lousy story, jokes
that fall flat, and just a creepy UN-pleasant atmosphere the entire way
through.
Storyline: 10 out of 25
What a
stressful film revolving around a stressful time of year. Two adults running
around town attempting to get a last minute Christmas present, and for some
reason everything seems to be going wrong, such as being scammed by a gang of
Santa's, other blood thirsty adults who would form mobs bent on getting one of
these dolls, and all at the same time, having a creepy divorced neighbor who is
being more fatherly and more of a husband than you are. that sure sounds like a
film i want to see this stressful time of year, just by reading the description
I bet you just had shivers go down your spine.
If
Christmas films are trying to release stress than this film failed horribly,
tons of wide angle lens, which make you feel as if the characters are going to
jump out of the screen and eat you (epically Arnold with his accent) This is a
very rushed family comedy, which doesn't give the audience any room to breath
or take in what's going on, which usually causes the audience to blank out.
Comedy: 13 out of 50
First off
it is really hard to laugh at jokes when the majority of the film is spent
running around like a maniac. When all you see is chaos and distress,
especially chaos and distress that you can relate to (such as Christmas) most
of the jokes will not make the audience laugh anyway, even if they are funny to
begin with. However in this film, the jokes aren't funny to begin with, every
joke is simply poorly written and poorly delivered.
Even some jokes that might work well, such as a certain bomb
joke that occurs near the end, are concluded with a silly little family
friendly punch line, reminding us that it is simply a terrible family comedy.
UN-imaginative
characters certainly do not help, as they are the ones delivering the lines,
and the fact that Sindbad is in the film simply drags all of the comedy out of
the scene. and if you don't know who Sindbad is, then consider that your own
Christmas gift from me. And for those of you who do, HE IS NOT FUNNY, as
probably many of you know already.
What else can you say but...ITS NOT FUNNY.
Characters/Acting Quality: 3 out of 25
Very
clichéd characters, all of them, you got your work all day dad, gullible
mother, bratty little kid that will Dangle
off a tall story building running away from a possible murderer just to get a
small piece off plastic, and one very, very, VERY, creepy neighbor who
sounds so creepy half the time I feel like he's going to jump out of the screen
and molest me. in fact, many aspects of the characters and the film in general
sounds really scary, with that Austrian accent, most of Arnold's dialogue makes
it sound like he's going to eat his child more than comfort him.
From the
very beginning you can tell what their lines will be like, what their personality
is going to be like and what they will do because there is not an once of
original content in the entire film, and it defiantly shows.
And so, the final verdict for the film Jingle All The Way is...
26/100
Terrible
There's very little that I can say about this film, but its not funny!
or well written or well acted or well directed...its not well, not well at all.
I know most of you have probably been making a list of Christmas classics to
watch this season...do not include this one.
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