Surviving Christmas Film Review - Worst Film Ever??

Initial Thoughts

                UN-pleasant, you will find me using that word a lot throughout this review. The film is one of the most troublesome films of the year, and just might have a shot at the “Worst Film Ever” title on my blog which is currently held by Mr. Beans Holiday with a 4/100.

                It’s almost shocking how many Christmas rules this film breaks, incest jokes, pornography jokes, greed that ultimately ends in happiness, tons of swearing, and so much more. And call me crazy, but a Christmas film should be for more than just perverted creeps, because those are the only people who would find this even remotely entertaining.

Story: 0 out of 25

                Sure the story is horrible; un-original, clichéd, and actually kind of stressful and annoying, but did it really deserve a zero? Well YES it did, because this is a Christmas film! And Christmas just happens to be my favorite holiday! So no one messes with my Christmas like this! First off a Christmas film should be care free but still teach a lesson, this film is extremely stressful, and teaches a lesson that we have been taught a million times (and sort of teaches it wrong in a way) that you can’t buy happiness, even though all throughout the film he is always buying things to make others happy but I digress. Second it should be meant for the whole family, meaning it’s a family film, meaning, NO SWEARING what would have happened if in The Nightmare before Christmas if they said things like a**, bi**h, f**k, h***, bull***t and bas***d? People would have been pretty upset about that wouldn’t they? We’ll all of the cuss words stated were somewhere in the film, and most of them used more than once.

                Un-pleasant characters being horrible cruel to one another only to result in one giant let down of a conclusion, way too fast paced to be a lovable Christmas film, tons of un-needed swearing, pornography used by 3 different characters at multiple different times, they even mention a hooker once! In a Christmas film! The idea is simply ludicrous as everyone already knows that money can’t buy happiness, and even that the film screws up because all throughout the film you see Drew buying things for people and having them ultimately being pleased with him.

                And that my reader’s is why the story gets a zero.

Characters: 0 out of 25

Once again, every character in this film is un-pleasant, and I don’t just mean many or most, no I mean every single character in this film is un-pleasant. Even at the end of the film they find a way to be annoying, or stressful. At the end of the film you don’t feel sorry or happy for anyone; in fact, you have just given up at the end of the film. Nowhere throughout the film did I feel ANY remorse for ANY character, if a character got in a fight, didn’t care, heck, a character could DIE and I would not miss him/her.

Okay Christmas 101 guys, ahem, in order for you to tell an effective Christmas story, you need to have emotional connection! That is when a trait or action is revealed about a character that the audience can relate to, and therefore when that character goes through a hard ship, the audience feels sorry for said character. DON’T YOU KNOW THAT?! Not a single relatable thing in the film, every character is just a stressful un-pleasant person attacking everyone else, or doing completely inappropriate things during Christmas (such as looking up porn…Really who does that on Christmas Eve??).

Un-pleasant, un-relatable, stressful, and extremely irritating.

Christmas Appeal: 0 out of 25

                I believe I have already stated and re-stated my option on the Christmas appeal for this movie, so I will try to re-cap. Tons of un-needed swearing, I mean they just throw it around like its normal langue, pornography jokes used many times, a hooker joke, seduction jokes, incest jokes, greed ultimately buying happiness, and no redeemable characters, none of them actually learn a lesson at the end which is sort of a must in a Christmas film.  

                That is a very quick rundown of two why this film downright insults everything that Christmas stands for.

Comedy: 2 out of 25

                Yup bet you didn’t this was a comedy did ya? Yup look it up, this horrible stressful irritating film is apparently considered a comedy film, and the only reason it got a 2 was because I could some hints of jokes, that would have worked (if it was a different movie). However when you have such an un-pleasant film, and your so stressed out and tired of all the fighting and swearing and actually kind of serious topics for a Christmas film, every joke falls flat. Every joke. When has comedy in a Christmas film ever been successful? When has it ever made the film into a classic? Christmas films should not be about making people laugh it should be about bringing family’s together! Which this film fails at as well!

                Not funny, and out of place in many ways, there is a hint of some effort of comedy in this film, but it’s too little too late.

And so the final verdict for DreamWorks production and appropriately titled Surviving Christmas is a…

2/100

Worst Film Ever aka Hall of Shame

I didn’t think that it was possible, but Mr. Beans Holiday is no longer the worst film ever, for somehow Surviving Christmas managed to be even worse with an astonishingly low 2/100! With a horrible story, terrible characters, and well, you know the rest! It insults everything Christmas stands for! And is well deserving of its new title of the Worst Film Ever.